So I failed at being your Daddy, little girl, my sweet Dolly. I failed at giving you the the things that you most needed from me, like trust, comfort, security and stability.
I have spent too much time analyzing my failures, and not enough time doing what I could to change myself and our circumstances, so that I could be a Daddy that you can look up to and truly love.
You took off you collar, and I lost my way. Being your Daddy, itself, has changed me, changed my understanding of who you are and what you truly needed from me. After giving up the collar, you wanted to go out into the world, and I let my fear win. I ran away from you this time, little girl.
So I begin again. With a commitment to be the Daddy I am, the man I am, and not a man beset with fear and insecurity, the same fear and insecurity that has split us apart.
I have pondered what I can do. But now I do, now I letting you know how my feelings for haven’t dissipated, but have gotten deeper and clearer. That now, I see how your perception and intelligence were dead on concerning my personality flaws, insecurities, and fears. I have made a terrible mistake. I will never run away from you again.
I will stand there and take all your anger towards me when your mad, and be filled with compassion for my long suffering baby. I will let you pound on me with your fists and call me the vilest names because I know how hurt you are, how torn up inside you are, and how much you need a Daddy to be there, unperturbed and comforting in those moments of anguish, fear and dread. I will always be there for you until I fucking die.
And that is where the Daddy meets his worth, in those moments of terror and fear that come over you because of the shittiness of the world to such a beautiful little nymph as yourself. It all looks so stupid to me now, my behavior that undermined us. How I made my ultimate fear a reality because i cast you away. I promise to never do that again, to you, god, and the internet. I will always be here for you. I will always try to help you stay in that place of joy that characterized so much of our special relationship.
I long to kiss you once more, to open up the floodgates to all the feelings we have for one another, to let you know my deep and abiding passion is for you and you alone in all your incarnations, to be forgiven and to forgive. I long to kiss you once again, to you hold you tightly in my arms, to stare into your your eyes, to grin at you like a fool and see you smile so sweetly. So we both know what we already know, that we are meant for each other, warts and all.